“Ladies and gentlemen,” I say as I open it, “Chicago’s finest isolation booth!”
I slowly lower it over Peter’s head until he’s completely blindfolded.
Why in the world would anyone I barely know let me put a paper bag over their head; let alone have fun doing it?
I’m a master of influence.
And this makes people uncomfortable.
You can see it when I explain what I do for a living. “I’m a professional mentalist. I basically convince people I can read their minds using various techniques of influence.”
Their eyebrows raise ever so slightly as they lean back. (They won’t admit it but they’re secretly worried I’m going to reveal all their deepest, darkest fears.)
I don’t blame them. Who wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being in the same room with someone who could really do that?
But, that fear stems from a common misconception that influence, persuasion, manipulation, & coercion are all the same thing.
Unwitting Influence
If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone and you were trying to get them to see your point of view, you were trying to be influential. If you’ve ever tried to convince your sweetie to go camping with you, you were trying to be influential. If you’ve ever explained how something could be a win-win situation, you were trying to be influential.
Maybe you were successful, maybe you weren’t. The fact remains you were trying to influence another person.
As is every single person alive, every day since the dawn of time.
Some people come by this naturally. They seem to instinctively know what to say during a conversation to get the outcome they want.
But most people don’t. They’re shooting in the dark.
People who lack the natural grace of conversational influence seem to miss the subtle clues that provide valuable feedback you can use to shift tactics midstream.
Even people who are good at conversational influence rely on one or two strategies that have worked over the years.
I have a whole toolbox full of ’em.
This is handy because influence isn’t limited to figuring out where we should eat lunch today. Influence plays out in courtrooms, boardrooms, bedrooms, and everywhere between.
And soon you’ll have the same toolkit that I use every day.